So we are 2 weeks into the season now and already some teams are looking like playoff certainties and others are staring a long hard season in the face. 6 teams have managed to get the best possible start with 2 wins out of 2 and these 6 will very much be looking to make a run in 2017 whilst another 6 have had the ultimate disaster in an 0-2 and have much work to do over the coming weeks to drag themselves back into the hunt.
Kirkwall Raiders (2-0) beat Buetoon Patriots (0-2) 76.60 – 55.82
Kirkwall Raiders moved to a perfect 2-0 with a convincing win over Bluetoon Patriots. Coach Sim will be delighted to get the W in a week that saw star players Antonio Brown and Isaiah Crowell not doing a whole lot again. A lot was expected from Crowell this season with a stunning O Line to run behind but this has not been evident in the first 2 weeks and with Brown yet to hit the endzone, Sim must be over the moon to have 2 wins on the board. Once again Carr at QB led the way with an impressive 27 points and with Chris Hogan having a good day in the absence of Amendola it was enough to see Raiders over the line. Sooner rather than later you would expect Crowell, Brown and indeed Eifert to start racking up the points an when they do Kirkwall Raiders could just be a team to watch for. For Coach Bruce however its not been a great start to the season at all. It was never going to be easy to follow up a great 2016 with such a late pick in the draft and after an 0-2 start Bruce will be desperate to get a win on the board in week 3. Its not all doom and gloom though for Bluetoon. Star receiver OBJ took his belated 2017 bow and whilst he could only muster 35 yards, Bruce must be delighted to see him on the field. It was a slow day also for rookie back Dalvin Cook but he seen plenty of touches still and with OBJ back, Cook looking a bell cow and the likes of Cohen, Parker and Ingram in the squad it shouldn’t be too long before Bluetoon get back to winning ways. They will attempt to do so in week 3 against Copenbadly Jets whilst Kirkwall Raiders go for 3 in a row against Red Hot Julius Peppers.
The Mad House G Men (2-0) beat Red Hot Julius Peppers (0-2) 107.18 .- 72.44
Can anyone stop the Juggernaut that is The Mad House G Men? If i didn’t see it with my own eyes i’m not sure i’d believe it. As if scoring the 3rd highest points total of week 1 the defending champions went 2 better to be highest scorers in week 2 and hand another beating to Red Hot Julius Peppers. Coach Edwards made just 1 change to the team that won in week 1 and unsurprisingly it was the right move, bringing in Sanu and benching Diggs to add an extra 5 points to the haul. Last week i said Edwards was a Bryant taking off from being favourite to retain his title. Well a 15.80 point pick up from Bryant in week 2 and the G Men are installed as favourites to retain without a doubt. Edwards really is becoming the Bill Bellichek of Show Me The Money. Red Hot, As always, put up a fight at least with a respectable score in the 70s but ultimately the lack of touchdowns let Coach Douglass down and he’ll be needing a whole lot more from stars Cooks and Olsen in future weeks if he is to stop the rot and get a W on the board. Douglass must be sick of the sight of the G Men. So often they’ve clashed and Superbowl II aside Edwards always seems to find the win. After a close loss in week 1 Douglass stuck to the same starting line up but it didn’t fare much better and Red Hot’s 100% playoff participation record looks decidedly under threat. It has been before though and Douglass has always came good. He will know only too well that first win could kick start a run. Red Hot will face off against unbeaten Kirkwall Raiders in week 3 whilst the G Men hope to make it 3 out of 3 against Batmans Boobies.
Copenbadly Jets (2-0) beat Bhoys are Back in Town (0-2) 98.72-59.22
Copenbadly Jets made it 2 for 2 by thumping Bhoys are Back in Town. After 2 year struggling in the bottom half of the table Coach Wemyss really seems to have found his feet in 2017. Despite a successful open week Wemyss made 3 changes to his first 9. Landry returned from bye wekk to replace ginn whilst the kickers were switched and he made a shock switch at QB dropping Palmer to bring in Big Ben. All 3 making their Jets debuts outscored the guys they replaced to help Copenbadly to the comfortable victory. Wemyss i’m sure will be very happy with his week 2 work and will surely take that confidence into the coming weeks and will hope to turn the great start into a first playoff appearance. Bhoys are Back in Town are heading in the other direction. Coach Herculson’s nightmare in the draft was compounded by Blount not getting a single touch of the ball and other back Sims getting negative points after fumbling one of only 2 touches. Herculson made 3 changes and whilst bringing in Witten for Reid paid off, The packer d for the falcons d did not. With Rodgers “only” scoring 19 points Bhoys were resigned to their 2nd loss of the season and a 2nd bite at the playoff cherry looks a long way away. They will go after their first win of the year against Scheme Team while Copenbadly go for a third straight win against Bluetoon Patriots.
Le’Veon a Prayer (2-0) beat Batmans Boobies (0-2) 101.86 – 51.88
Le’Veon on a Prayer were another team to make to 2 out of 2 with a comprehensive victory over Batmans Boobies. Coach Amos struggled in his rookie season however looks all the stronger for it as Le’Veon followed up a tight 2 point week 1 win with a triple digit score to make it a perfect start to their sophomore season. Other than an enforced switch and tight end, Amos stuck to the week 1 team and they repaid his confidence with a fantastic score to leave Batmans chasing shadows right from the get go as the Texan’s d outscored Batman’s back Bernard by 7 points. With Gurely and Fournette each finding the endzone for the 2nd week in a row and a potential injury to Nelson elevating Adams in the Packer pecking order Amos is looking strong in 2017. Coach O’Neil fielded the same 9 that lost in week 1 and again they failed to fire on all cylinders with star players Cooper Murray and Britt failing to hit double figures combined. Its a long way to the playoffs from 0-2 but its far from impossible. If Batmans are to make their first appearance in 2017 O’Neil will need these 3 to start scoring the points they are capable of soon. As always seems to be the way, when you’re down the gods kick you and week 3 see’s Batmans face the impossible task of trying to find a way to beat the unbeatable in The Mad House G Men. Le’von cross divisions to take on the NFC’s Farqs Flying Eagles.
In Baxter We Trust (2-0) beat Farqs Flying Eagles (1-1) 101.80 – 78.02
In Baxter We Trust beat Farqs Flying Eagles. Big Woop.
Oldmans Cowboys (2-0) beat Aldon Smiths Driving School (1-1) 93.84 – 53.32
Oldmans Cowboys confirmed their week 1 promise, making it 2 in a row by beating Aldon Smiths Driving School. Coach Purves stayed true to the first team that banked him the highest score of week 1 and they delivered once more to ensure Oldmans remain unbeaten going into week 3. Elliot had his worst ever week in the NFL but it didn’t matter as Hunt proved he’s no 1 week wonder and with old faithfuls Brees and Allen again chipping in with good numbers and the Raven’s d looking one of the best in the game this year Purves will be looking for another shot at the playoffs in 2017. Coach Fleming got off to a great start in week 1 but he got caught sleeping in week 2 failing to notice Danny Woodhead going on IR. With Woodhead holding a starting berth and Howard failing to get anything in Tampa it was too much to overcome and Aldon’s fell to their first loss of the season. With Woodhead out and no other available backs Fleming must now look to agency to replace Woodhead, at least until week 5 when Fleming will see the return of Doug Martin from Suspension. Oldmans will hope to go 3 from 3 in week 3 against Varsity Blues Changed my Life while Aldon’s will debut their new running back, whoever that may be, against Show me The Packers.
Tartan Bears (1-1) beat Varsity Blues Changed My Life (0-2) 87.70 – 65.98
Tartan Bears got their 2017 season off and running with a good victory over Varsity Blues Changed My Life. Coach Bain welcomed back franchise back Ajayi from bye week and he delivered a decent 12 point return. This was Bain’s only change from week 1 as his team bounced back from an unlucky week 1 loss to deliver a better than average 88 points which proved more than ample to get off the board. With Jeffery looking settled in the Eagles reciever corp already and the lieks of McCaffery Gilleslie Thomas and Walker kicking around Bain will be hopeful his 2017 effort can land him in a playoff spot for the first time. After starting 2016 win a winning run, Its a complete 180 for Varsity Blues. Coach Groat has yet to see his star players really fire as yet and that has resulted in 2 losses to start his 2017 campaign. With Rawls on the return from injury, Groat made a rash trade with In Baxter we trust giving up the Beast Marshawn Lynch in an attempt to strengthen his receivers with Cory Cloeman of the Browns (yes i said the Browns). Well not only did Coleman bust out to 4 yards in week 2 but the worse news is he’s about to hit IR after suffering a season ending injury. It never rains and all that……..Despite this moment of madness though Groat’s squad is far from hopless and they are more than capable of making a run for the playoffs yet. Varsity will look for the first win of the year against Oldmans Cowboys in week 3 whilst Tartan Bears will hope to start a winning run against In Baxter We Trust.
Scheme Team (1-1) beat Show Me The Packers (0-2) 92.14 – 92.06
0.08. Its almost like James Bond. If James Bond was gut wrenching pain and suffering. Scheme Team (congratulations Alan and i apologise now if this serves more as a self obsessed rant than a report) beat Show Me The Packers by an agonizing 0.08pts to record their first win of the season. Despite losing franchise back Johnson to IR Coach Pirie came out fighting in week 2 and was active in agency not only replacing Johnson with his Cardinals replacement Williams but also dumping week 1 starter Latavius Murray for Chris Thompson. It was this move that made the difference as Thompson went for 100 yards and 2 touchdowns (i mean what the fuck!!!!!!) to steer Scheme Team to the narrowest of victorys. For Coach McDerment, well, I don’t really know what to say. If it wasn’t for bad luck, there’d be na luck. I mean seriously. 0.08. Have i said 0.08 before? It was better than week 1 i guess. Winston and Rodgers came off bye week and done ok (simien done better though) but what chance have you got when your kicker has a gimmie with a minute to go and the fuckers run the clock and give the ball back. I mean give me strength lord almighty. Week 3 will see Scheme Team hopefully beat Bhoys are Back in Town so i can say something nicer about their win whilst Show Me The Packers will likely loss 6 players to IR on the way to losing to Aldon Smiths Driving School. 0.08. I mean fucking 0.08. FFS
Ok, i guess i got to……
In Baxter We Trust (2-0) beat Farqs Flying Eagles 101.80 – 78.02 – V2
In Baxter We Trust made it a 100% start to 2017 as they……………………..nope sorry guys, can’t bring myself to do it.
Ok, In Respect for Graeme, Here it is…..
In Baxter We Trust (2-0) beat Farqs Flying Eagles 101.80 – 78.02
In Baxter We Trust are another to make it 2 for 2 as they notched triple digits to beat Fars Flying Eagles. After years in the Wilderness Coach Baxter is finally standing up and how. After scoring nearly a ton in week 1 they eclipsed the ton in week 2 to announce their playoff contention in spectacular fashion. Baxter welcomed trade back Lynch to the starting team and Lynch repaid the faith immediately with double digits. With Lynch looking good and Montgomery and West looking bell cows Baxter’s back now look almost as strong as his 1st round Evans and franchised Green. Baxter’s squad looks strong and ready to make a push for the title. God. Please. No. Coach Farquhar suffered his first loss of the season but the bigger loss might just be Jordi Nelson. The star receiver went off to injury in the first quarter and didn’t return and with the Packers still uiet on the extent of the injury, Farquhar will be watching Packer news closely in the coming week praying its nothing serious. He’ll be hoping Nelson makes it for his week 3 matchup against Le’Von on a Pray whilst In Baxter We Trust will hopefully fall for the first time this season against Tartan Bears.